Experience

I have always believed, regardless of where I was in my own faith journey, that everyone’s pathway is different. If there are eight billion people in the world, then to me, there are eight billion roads to faith. Regardless of creed or doctrine, or whether the person would describe it as religion at all, everyone wants to connect with something greater.

My particular road was a long one, less a straight-forward motorway and more like a thin, winding alleyway. I explored many faiths, and learned an invaluable amount from each one. However, I never really explored Christianity, afterall, I had no delusions of holiness. Whatsmore, I knew I was gay – something I didn’t think would be acceptable to any church. This was reinforced when I emailed local churches and asked about their views on LGBT+ people, and received polite but arguably homophobic responses from all, except one. Worthing Baptist Church, it seemed, was affirming. Being the cynic I am, I scoured their website and from there, found a piece written by the minister on his personal journey to becoming affirming. Not only did this church accept LGBT people, it had recently gained its licence to perform same-sex marriages. This felt a little ground-breaking to me, as for the first time, I wondered if I could reconnect with Christianity.

I attended my first service alone, and it goes without saying that I was nervous. New people, a new setting, and no idea what to expect. I half feared I would burst into flames at the threshold, but instead, I was welcomed warmly as if I were an old friend. I found a seat and tried not to make eye contact with anyone. The songs, while unfamiliar to me, were beautiful, with lyrics echoing sentiments of love, hope, endurance, and a God which loved you.

It was a pleasant surprise to see one of the ministers, Mike, dressed casually and not in an intimidatingly elaborate outfit. But this suited the church – from the gorgeous stained glass windows, to the artwork on the walls, it was thoroughly beautifully simple. Open, honest without any unneeded flourishes. He talked, and while I confess, I don’t remember what he preached, I remember how I felt. Shocked at his candour, at the frankness of language. There was no effort to persuade or convince, instead it was a conversation. A new perspective from someone who made no claims to be right, but instead invited you to contribute.

I left the church feeling dazed. I hadn’t experienced a lightning flash moment of blinding certainty, but still, I wanted to go back. The following week, I returned and found an empty seat. I would wait before engaging, observe first so I knew what to say so I didn’t accidentally offend anyone, or make a fool out of myself – however, this plan was swiftly brushed aside as I was joined by two wonderful ladies. They didn’t pry or question my ‘holiness’ but talked to me as if I was a friend. This sermon I do remember. Mike talked about LGBT people and the damage done by The Church. He reiterated that WBCH was truly affirming, and I learned how they had lost a significant portion of the congregation when the choice to be affirming was made. I couldn’t believe it. There was no subtly, no hinting about ‘those different from us’ no, he referenced people by name. I knew then, if I wanted to join this church, there truly would be no ceilings for me. No area where I would not be welcome.

Needless to say, I returned the following Sunday. And the next. I even started working through the impressive library of the ministers.

After a few weeks, Mike and Peter invited me out for coffee, and once again I was floored at the encouragement of discussion. At no point did I feel as though I was getting lectured or spoken down to, despite the wealth of their combined knowledge, instead I felt heard. During the conversation, I mentioned that I enjoyed writing, and Mike simply said that if anything came to me, he would be interested in reading it. I wrote something which I can’t imagine many churches liking, discussing those left on the outside, and that God could be found in all people and places, with no bigotry or judgement. Instead of shying away from the topics raised, Mike asked if I would be interested in reading it out to the congregation. Possibly more shocking – I said yes. Despite not enjoying public speaking, despite the reticence to show my work, I said yes. My whole plan of being a silent observer was completely out the window as I found I enjoyed the process immensely. I could write and share it with people. Hear what they thought, if it resonated with them and why – it felt like connection. It is a form of service for me, and one I regard with the highest honour and gratitude.

Over time, I got to see other people preached and each sermon was honest. Stripped back and without the barest hint of pretense. A community of people who feel safe to share their ideas, their feelings and troubles. I had always been skeptical of communities before, but WBCH really did show me it was possible to find a group of people who would seek to accept and understand everyone.

I remember one Sunday morning, I had just arrived and crossed the entryway, and unknowingly I sighed. One of the congregation noticed, and commented how lovely a thing to exhale as if coming home. Such a tiny moment, from years ago, but I remember it with total clarity. It actually helped cement my choice.

I was baptised into Worthing Baptist Church on November 11th 2022.

I chose to be baptised, with the comforting knowledge I did not have to have my life together, or to be perfectly Holy, I just needed to be willing. To carry the faith and curiosity of a child within me. The day itself was beautiful and I knew I had made the right decision. Unfortunately, I can’t say that the baptism transformed me into a flawless being. I am still probably too cynical, and definitely too snarky to be considered perfect. But, my faith has changed. Life can be an ocean, sometimes calm and other times as though you are a rowboat getting repeatedly battered by a storm. But my faith has grown into a steady, constant light which burns inside me. I believe my baptism helped strengthen this light as I know I have a church who loves me, and who celebrates the diversity of the world. My faith guided me as I came out as non-binary to my congregation, who all accepted me with love and kindness. God, I believe, has been with me as They are with everyone, from the beginning. But through being guided to WBCH, I feel as though I have been able to connect with Them in different ways. I can see Their love in the congregation, in the minister,  in the sermons and the songs.

I may not be perfect, but I know I found the perfect church for me, and that is WBCH.